What I Wish I Would Have Known Before My Wedding Night Part 2

What I Wish I Would Have Known Before My Wedding Night

Part 2

The wedding night can be a big deal for some and not such a big deal for others. But either way, there is a lot that people wish they would have known before their wedding night. The following are suggestions that would be helpful to know ‘physically’ before your wedding night:

Physically:

1. It is important to know how things work. Having a talk with a parent, or sibling beforehand might be helpful.

The more you understand the process of having sex the better prepared you will be when the time comes. Many people shy away from talking about intimacy but it is important to gain a good understanding beforehand. You can start by talking to a parent, sibling, or someone you trust, or another good suggestion might be to read a good educational book to better help you prepare.

2. For most women there is difficultly and pain for the first time and it might not be as easy as some people make it out to be.

Many women experience pain or discomfort the first time they have sex because their body is not used to it yet. The man might receive more pleasure than the woman the first time but it is important to remember that it won’t always be that way. The woman’s body will eventually adjust and the experience will become a lot better.

3. It is important to be familiar with the anatomy of your spouse.  

If you know nothing about the anatomy of your spouse, sex can be really difficult. If you’re not familiar then it can also make it hard to fulfill your partner’s needs.  To become familiar with the anatomy beforehand you can talk to someone, read an educational book, or any other form of research. Knowing more about your spouse’s body will make sex a better experience for both of you.

4. It takes time to make everything work, and it also takes some practice.

It takes time to make everything work. You definitely won’t have it down the first night. It is important to not be afraid to talk to each other. If something hurts say something. If something feels good say something. The more open you are with your spouse the quicker you will adjust. The most important thing both of you can do is to relax. The more practice, the better the experience!

5. It gets better as time goes on!

It is important to not give up if it doesn’t work out like you thought it would. It takes time and practice. It is important to start with what you know, you don’t need to rush. There is plenty of time to become a better sexual partner. These suggestions will hopefully calm your fears and give you some tips for your wedding night!

Photo By Exsodus

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What I Wish I Would Have Known Before My Wedding Night

What I Wish I Would Have Known Before My Wedding Night

The wedding night can be a big deal for some and not such a big deal for others. But either way, there is a lot that people wish they would have known before their wedding night. The following are suggestions that would be helpful to know ‘emotionally’ before your wedding night:

Emotionally:

1. It is hard to go from abstinence, to being sexually active.

For many people this can be difficult because they may have been told all of their lives to be abstinent. It can be hard to make the change so quickly. It might be helpful to start slow beginning with other intimate activities. For example: showering together, cuddling, playing strip poker or other intimate games. Starting slow will help with the transition from going from abstinence to being sexually active, and will help you and your spouse become more comfortable with each other.

2. It is important to not make expectations because as great as it is, it usually doesn't go like in the movies.

Making expectations can be damaging because it most likely won’t go as you planned. It is important to recognize that in the movies they only show a fraction of what actually takes place. There are a lot of things that the writers leave out when putting together their scripts. Like when your sweater gets stuck over your head, or when you have to stop to think about birth control, or how about when one of you is ready to go while the other just isn’t quite feeling in the mood. It is important to go into intimacy with an open mind, making no expectations beforehand.

3. Anxieties and fears about sex are totally normal, and it’s more than fine to talk about them.

For many people deciding to have sex is a huge decision and a big step in their lives. It is normal to have fears and anxieties. It might be helpful to talk to a friend, a brother or sister or even a parent. Having a conversation with someone may calm your fears and help you understand that it’s not as scary as you think.

4. Remember that you will probably be really tired, so don’t do too much.

Don't forget that you are probably both going to be really tired.  You will have many more nights together. So don't try and do too much your first night. Take it slow and enjoy just being together!

5. It is important to be understanding of your spouse’s situation and sensitive to their needs.

It is important to remember that men and women think differently and have different emotional and physical needs. Understanding your partner’s needs and being aware of them will result in a much better experience.

*Photo By David Castillo Dominici

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Lack of Intimacy: Hormone Levels

 Hormone Levels:

A woman’s hormone levels naturally fluctuate throughout the month, making her somewhat more or less inclined towards sex at various points. Pregnancy, lactation and menopause can also impact hormone levels.

Menopause: Estrogen levels drop during the transition to menopause. This can cause decreased interest in sex and dryer vaginal tissues, resulting in painful or uncomfortable sex. At the same time, women may also experience a decrease in the hormone testosterone, which boosts sex drive in men and women alike. Although many women continue to have satisfying sex during menopause and beyond, some women experience a lagging libido during this hormonal change.

Pregnancy and breast-feeding: Hormone changes during pregnancy, just after having a baby and during breast-feeding can put a damper on sex drive. Of course, hormones aren't the only factor affecting intimacy during these times. Fatigue, changes in body image and the pressures of carrying — or caring for — a new baby can all contribute to changes in your sexual desire.

A woman’s hormones are always changing so it is important to be patient and understanding with her if she is experiencing changes.

By David Castillo Dominici

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Lack of Intimacy: Medical Conditions

Medical Conditions:

For some women serious medical conditions may be limiting their desire for physical intimacy. This might make physical intimacy painful, or dangerous, which can lead to the lack of desire for it.

Personal Example:

Holland has had back problems ever since she was young. She is always in a lot of pain and finds it hard to be comfortable. She has a great relationship with her husband but they find it hard to be physically intimate because of the pain she experiences.

What research has found:

Back problems, chemotherapy, chronic pain and post-pregnancy complications are just a few of the physical conditions that can affect your partner’s desire and ability to be physically intimate. Be understanding of these limitations and find creative and sustainable means to engage with each other physically.

What you can do:

Some tips are to talk openly with your spouse. Talk with your spouse about how much you are in pain and try coming up with ideas to help. Second, take preventive measures. Planning can make sex better. If your back is sore, taking a pain reliever before sex can help. Some other ideas are taking a relaxing shower before sex, you could also try icing the troubled area. Third, talking with a doctor may also help. It is important to be patient with your spouse and try to help in any way possible. 

Photo By: stockimages

 

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Lack of Intimacy: Trust Issues

Trust Issues:

For some women, physical intimacy is a big commitment. They may have not yet gained their spouses trust, or they have lost trust in their spouse, therefore, they feel the lack of desire for physical intimacy.

Personal Experience:

Zoe has a hard time trusting her husband. She has had many experiences where she found out that he lied to her. When she knows that he is lying, she completely reverts to lack of physical intimacy. She doesn’t want to be intimate with someone that she can’t trust.

What research has found:

It may be difficult to trust your spouse if they don’t communicate clearly with you. A lot of relationships lack trust because of past events or experiences that have taken place. It is important to talk to your spouse so that you can have the trust within your relationship.

What you can do:

You have to trust your spouse or your marriage may fail before it has a chance to succeed. Communicate with your spouse and learn to set boundaries to keep each other happy. First, figure out why trust is an issue. Second, talk to your spouse and explain the problem while you are calm. Third, listen to what your spouse is saying. If your spouse has a perfectly good explanation for what is bothering you, you will feel the burden being lifted off your shoulders.  Fourth, set boundaries. It's important to set boundaries in your marriage that you can both follow. It's important for your spouse to feel like they are your number one priority and should take the same steps that will make you feel like you're number one too.

Photo By criminalatt

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