Lack of Intimacy: Focusing on Lack of Respect

Lack of respect:

For some women it might be extremely difficult to desire intimacy with someone who does not show genuine love or who consistently diminishes your worth and value in some way.

Personal Example:

Pat has been married for five years. Her husband does not show her love and respect. She lacks the desire to be physically intimate with him because she is not receiving respect from in return. He often diminishes her and makes her feel like she is dumb or stupid. This makes Pat feel like she is just an object that he is receiving pleasure from.

What research has found:

When it comes to relationships feeling respected is huge. Nobody wants to be around someone that doesn’t respect them. Sustaining respect during the course of a relationship takes effort. We are all human, and if someone begins to treat us negatively, we often tend to respond in kind. Disrespect can grow until most interactions are described by sarcastic, inconsiderate, blaming, critical, and demeaning behavior. However, the lack of respect is not always so obvious. Spouses can show their disrespect in more subtle but equally eroding ways. For example: ignoring the spouse or partner, or responding with indifference to their partner.

What you can do:

The definition of respect is the feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. A few ways to have more respect for your spouse are: making a list of your spouse’s qualities that you appreciate. Review and add to your list regularly. Next, tell your spouse what you appreciate about them, and even tell other’s what you appreciate about him. Look for the positive things that you might find irritating. If you are bored when he is telling you about your day, find the positive and be glad that he is actually talking to you. Next, respond to him in loving ways. Lastly, when you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about your spouse, stop and choose something positive to think about him, if you can’t think of something then choose one from your positive list. If you do these things it will help you gain more love and respect for your spouse.

Photo By David Castillo Dominici