Poor Self-Image

Here is the second post on lack of desire for physical intimacy focusing on poor self-image:

Poor self-image:

Some women may feel bad about the way they look and feel as if they don’t meet their spouse’s expectations. The way the media portrays women also makes them think that they have to be a certain way.

Personal Example:

Heather is overweight. She is very self-conscious about herself and her body. She loves her husband but is always worried that he doesn't think she looks good or is attracted to her. This makes it difficult to be intimate with her husband.

What research has found:

In an interesting study that surveyed 519 obese Americans in committed relationships. They indicated that 40% of the survey participants participated in physical intimacy with their partners less than once per month. In comparison, only 17% of the general population reported that they participated in physical intimacy at less than once per month. During the moments of physical intimacy, weight resulted in feelings of embarrassment, which furthered physical and emotional withholding. 

What you can do:

Overcoming a poor self-image is difficult but it can be done. Learning to be comfortable in your own skin is important. You can start by looking at yourself naked in front of a mirror. For me this was one of the most uncomfortable and awkward things to try. In order to have a positive body image we have to be able to look at ourselves naked.  Spend 1-3 minutes in front of the mirror naked, with no one around appreciating your body for what it is. The important part of this is truly appreciating your body, don’t nitpick or look for things you wish you could change. Instead embrace your body! Another thing you might try is if your husband or wife looks particularly good while getting dressed for work one morning, be sure to mention it to them. Also, if your partner has gained a significant amount of weight recently, commit to getting healthy together, just avoiding it makes them feel like they have to measure up. If you start by doing these things it can also start to increase your desire of physical intimacy.

Photo By: Stuart Miles. Retrieved at http://www.freedigitalphotos.net.