Lack of Physical Intimacy: Fear of Disappointment

Here is the third post on lack of desire for physical intimacy focusing on fear of disappointment:

Fear of disappointment:

Some women might fear disappointment because they don’t want their spouse to not be satisfied with their physical intimacy. Rather than communicate and talk with the spouse, they might revert to avoiding physical intimacy all together.

Personal Example:

Mary had recently got married and loved being married until it came to physical intimacy. She reverted to avoiding physical intimacy all together because she was worried that her husband would not be satisfied with what she was giving him. Her husband started to wonder why she didn't like being physical with him.

What research has found:

Some people often fear physical intimacy because they hate the idea of disappointing others. Unconsciously, they feel as though they are not up to the job. Rather than face their own lack of self-esteem, they turn this into "I don't want to have sex." This often has nothing to do with the expectations of the other person.

What you can do:

One of the best ways to make sure your partner is satisfied is to simply ask what they do and do not like. It can be awkward to discuss and may leave you feeling exposed, but it is the surest path to clarifying what is and isn't working. Make sure that you and your partner communicate during physical intimacy.